I confess that I am a closet procrastinater (Well I guess not anymore). Not a lot of people would use that adjective to describe me because I carry it off well most of the time (or at least I think I did). I have spent a lot of time working on this issue in my life trying to first understand it and to manuever through the chaos that it sometimes leads to.
When I finally admitted to myself that I like to procrastinate because of the urgency it creates as a deadline or decision loom closer I realized that I have spent most of my life working from a place of stress. I was proud that I worked well under pressure, that I didn’t seem to get flustered when other’s were freaking out. I may have been calm. organized and steady on the outside but on the inside I was in major freak out mode. I just learned from a very young age how to put the “freak out” into a box, lock it up and maybe deal with it when life got a little calmer.
Interesting….when does life get calmer when you keep burying the stress deeper and deeper into your body?
I have since learned that for me procrastination is the fear of moving to quickly. Again, Fear of Moving to Quickly. I know it sounds a little crazy since the procrastination leads to quick movement but it the vehicle I used to force a decision.
So now when I feel myself starting to procrastinate I make myself be quiet and ask the hard question “what am I afraid of right now?”. It is not always the obvious answer. I also remind myself that I prefer calm, not fast rushing stress. I make better choices for ME when I am calm. I remember who I am making the choice for when I am calmer. I also allow myself permission to take time to make the choice. I also now feel uncomfortable with stress in my body, it is no longer the “normal” for me. It has taken me a long time to get here and a lot of constant work at being present with myself. But it is SO worth the work it takes, I am happier, healthier and make much better decisions that are ME based and not OTHERS based.
This is part of what I really enjoy about Life Empowerment Coaching, the ability to share what I have learned in my own journey with those who are brave enough to take a deep look into their souls and ask the hard questions. They lead to brilliant answers and amazing new experiences.
So for me Procrastination is the Art of uncovering what we are afraid of growing into…
What Art do you have in your life? I would love to hear about it!